Lizzie the Vampire Slayer
by Kirbilius Clausius
Summary: My take on the idea. Update-Found where the plot is going and how to complicate it.
1. Chapter 1

1

Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer-

"There is one girl in all the world, a special girl...endowed with the powers to face the evil to fight the evil..."

"Change the rules."

Willow grows brighter, then white, then collapses.

2

Three friends, one male and two girls, walked down the hall of their high school. The male, having dark wavy hair and nickname based on his proper name simply shortened, stared lovingly (and a little lustingly) at the blonde next to him while trying not to look like it. The other girl was blabbering on to them in a style she was known for.

The blonde didn't see a stray piece of paper in front of her. She slipped on it like the hundreds of times she slipped in junior high. Only this time was different. Nearly subconciously and surprisingly fast, her hand reached out in back of her and carried her in a flip back to her feet.

Her friends stopped, shocked.

"I guess that cheerleading payed off.", the boy stated. "Mmmm...cheerleading. Ow!"

He exclaimed when the other girl elbowed him.


	2. Powers

1

"Gordo, you're smart. What's happenning to me?", Lizzie asked.

Cartoon Mode-

"Like high school wasn't going to be hard enough! Now everyone thinks I'm a freak."

1

"What's important to remember is that you're not a freak.", Gordo reminded.

"Yes, she is.", Matt called out from in front of the TV.

Cartoon Mode-

"Thanks guys."

1

Matt walked over to the kitchen island where Gordo, Lizzie and Miranda were talking. "You know, it's not every day where all the world understands what a loser you are. It's important to realize..." Matt put his arm around her. "That the fault is not in them, but in yourself."

Lizzie's face scrunched. "Get off me, Matt."

She shrugged her shoulders. Matt bounced off the refrigerator after being slammed into it. Matt decided that was the time to leave.

2

Now the three friends were in Lizzie's bedroom.

"Maybe you're a superhero?", Gordo suggested.

The two girls glared sarcastically at him.

"No, give me a minute.", Gordo continued. "In superhero movies, the superhero discovers that they have powers by accidentally using them."

Miranda continued her glare. "Not everything's a movie, Gordo. And if there was a Lizzie McGuire movie, it would be about her pulling off that pop star routine in Italy, not flying around stopping crime."

"Stop it, 'randa.", Lizzie said. "Go on, Gordo. What comes next?"

"I never said she could fly. Actually what comes next-the montage that tests her powers.", Gordo said.

3

The three dragged Lizzie's father's weight bench from the shed. The next minutes were spent coughing at its dust.

"Can't I just try flying first, Gordo?", Lizzie whined.

"Flying?", Gordo asked. "Flying? Do you know just how impossible that is? And what if you can only fly an inch at time, how do we measure your jumps? And the insurance costs alone/"

"Fine.", Miranda stopped him. "What about the flips and things? That's what started all this."

The boy shook his head. "She's already done gymnastics and cheerleading. Weight lifting is something Lizzie's never done before, so if she does well we know something's up."

"I hear you creeping around. What do you want?", Lizzie asked sharply.

Matt had just cleared the corner of the house into the backyard. "How?", he asked.

"That's my boy.", Sam McGuire said as Lizzie's parents came from inside. "Doing the old weight lifting like your dad."

"Since when did you do weight lifting?", Jo asked.

"In college."

4

You should know that all pictures of Sam McGuire in college come from Robert Carradine's role in _Revenge of the Nerds._

3

"Right.", Jo sarcastically agreed.

"I didn't take that thing out.", Matt informed.

"Oh?", Sam asked. "Well, good for you Gordo. Girls like muscles."

"Daaaad!", Lizzie whined.

Gordo struggled with the shocked look on his face. "uh...it's not for me, Mr. McGuire."

Sam looked puzzled. "Uh, Miranda? You're not having issues again."

Miranda protested with her hands out in front of her. "My eating disorder days are in the past. It's for Lizzie."

Sam and Jo scanned the faces of the teens. "Yeah, this just got too weird for us. We're going inside.", Sam stated.

"Don't hurt yourself, dear.", Jo called as the parents walked back inside.

5

"Push!", Gordo called out. "Push!"

"She's not pregnant.", Miranda told him.

Lizzie struggled with the bar. She regritted her teeth and lifted the weight onto its waiting supports. "How much was that?", she asked.

"All of it.", Gordo told her. "And the paint cans we taped to the bar. And the bricks we set on top of that."

"So I can go fight crime?", Lizzie asked. "After, like, a thousand good night sleeps."

"No.", Gordo stated. "Now we go to the gymnastics."

6

"I've never been able to land that before!", Lizzie exclaimed.

"I don't think anyone's ever been able to land that.", Gordo said.

Miranda muttered something.

"What was that?", Gordo asked her.

Lizzie spoke. "She said that being a movie nerd paid off."

"You heard that?", Miranda asked.

Cartoon Mode-

"Yeah, it's really strange. It's like everything is so much sharper, crisper. I can even hear Matt masturbating in his room. Eeeww!"

6

"It's like I'm hearing everything.", Lizzie told them. "Let me try something."

She took out her contact lenses. "Wow. I can see that pimple behind your nostril, Miranda."

Miranda's hands came to her face. "Oh that's it. I'm going home."

"Miranda!", Gordo called out after her. He turned to Lizzie.

Lizzie had a look on her face that was a bit...hungrier than he had seen before. "We'll talk to her tomorrow. Why don't we go inside and let me get some of this sweat off, huh?"

7

Gordo waited idly on Lizzie's bed. He was expecting Lizzie to come back in yet another outfit from her inexhaustable closet. The Lizzie he got was in a terri cloth robe. His eyebrows went much higher than Lizzie's hem line.

Lizzie strode confidently across the room, grabbed his collar and kissed him nearly hard enough to bruise him. "uh...What's going on?", Gordo asked.

"After all that activity, I just feel...animalistic.", Lizzie told him. "What? Don't you wanna see if I have super touch too?"

"Yeah, that's the thing.", Gordo said reluctantly. "You're not acting like yourself, Lizzie. This may be a side effect of how you've changed. And I don't want to be a side effect."

Lizzie rubbed against him while nearly choking him with his collar. "ooooh...You're right. How come Miranda couldn't be the cool collected one and you be the hot head?"

"Because I'm stupid.", Gordo answered while slipping out from under her. "Maybe you should call Miranda about the whole pimple thing while I go lament my decisions."

With that he left. Before Lizzie could get to her phone he was back. "But...no, no. I gotta go."

Lizzie smiled at him in a way only she could. "You're right you know. We have plenty of time, and we shouldn't blow it on this."

Gordo smiled. "Thanks. I got ego, your smile...I can wait for the rest."


	3. School

1

"Hey Tudge.", Miranda greeted. "Is that a new shirt?"

Larry Tudgeman looked down on the three friends from his impressive height. He knew them well enough to know it wasn't teasing.

"No, 'randa.", Larry said. "I just had it let out after my last growth spurt."

Lizzie wrapped her arms around Gordo from behind and kicked the wall. She managed to flip herself and him out of the way of a water balloon. The senior that threw it stared questioningly. "Freshmen can't do that."

Larry agreed. "Yeah, freshmen can't do that."

Lizzie, Miranda and Gordo looked questioningly at each other. Eyebrows were rapidly raised and expressions of communication were thrown back and forth. The silent conversation ended with Miranda nodding her head and rolling her eyes.

"Hey, Tudge...", Miranda led while taking Larry's arm. "How are the girls treating you?"

Despite his intelligence, the girl's attention managed to distract him the instant it took for Gordo and Lizzie to dissappear into the crowd.

Gordo whispered to Lizzie. "This is rediculous. We need to find out what caused these powers and what we're going to do about them."

"They're my powers, Gordo.", Lizzie reminded.

"Oh, of course.", Gordo assured. "But I am here to help. I mean, have you thought about how you're going to keep a secret identity from your parents?"

"Just because I haven't told them doesn't mean I'm not telling them.", Lizzie replied.

Gordo continued. "Or how to get a grappling hook, or a utility belt or a/"

"Or a Lizzie mobile when I'm too young to drive?", Lizzie asked. "Look, I know you're just trying to help. And thanks. But I'm scared. I mean, sure, I can slap my little brother around. But I just have this feeling that something bad's gonna happen."

"Of course, something bad is gonna happen.", Gordo agreed. "Why else would a superhero be called?"

Lizzie glared at him.

"Hey, I'm with you all the way.", he consoled.

"With you all the way in what?", Mr. Dig asked.

"uh, high school troubles?", Lizzie asked.

"Don't you teach middle school, Mr. Dig?", Gordo asked.

"High school pays more, and it turns out there was an openning.", Mr. Dig replied. "Besides, you think I could let Ms. McGuire somewhere I couldn't keep an eye on her?"

"Right.", Gordo nodded. "Meet you in the library after school?"

"Sure, Gordo.", Lizzie told him.

"Isn't it a little early to start over achieving, Gordo?", Mr. Dig continued to inquire. "Or is there something in particular? Maybe I could help you with it?"

The two teens were saved by the ringing bell. But maybe more the questions they face are going to be bigger than who to punch.


	4. Setup

Author's Note: I'd like to thank christylee for the inspiration her Lizzie McGuire stories provided. I doubt they'll have much actual impact on the plot. But reading them has motivated me to continue this.

1

Melina came over to Matt's house as soon as being grounded for flooding its basement was over. As far as she was concerned, concrete was concrete. They pumped the water out once the heat wave was over...well, when they were caught. She didn't see any reason why the McGuires had to call her parents, even before Lanny's. Matt did all the engineering and Lanny did all the heavy lifting (even if he complained about it like he always vocally did). She just...motivated.

The thin girl tried to breeze past Sam, but a forceful tug on her long blonde hair held her back. "What are the conditions of you being let back into this house, young lady?"

The girl huffed but figured it was better to humor him than fight him on this. "No using a room for a purpose it wasn't intended. No remodelling. No getting Matt and Lanny to remodel it for me. That's it, right?"

Sam waved her away. And with that she headed straight up to Matt's room.

"Finally.", Matt declared. "I spent all summer listening to Lanny yammer on and nothing to stop him with."

Lanny glared at Matt, then grudgingly shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh, it's even better than that.", Melina told him. "Look what I can do."

And with that she jumped, rolled twice in mid-air, and just managed to land on her feet.

Lanny clapped with ecstatic enthusiasm.

Matt sighed. "Yeah, my sister can do the same thing."

Melina's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"The crazy gymnastics."/

Flashback- Lizzie vaulted over Matt to land on the kitchen island. After grabbing a bagel without breaking momentum, she soumersaulted away.

"The smell the loose change in my pockets."/

Flashback-His sister hovered over Matt, sniffing away. "$1.67. Mostly nickels."

"The super strength."/

Flashback-Lizzie was holding Matt upside down and shaking the loose change out of his pockets. "Thanks, Matt. This will cover coffee."

Matt continued on. "I'm just glad we have a health class in junior high. This puberty stuff is getting really weird."

Lanny nodded in agreement.

2

"A date?", Lizzie asked. Again. "A real live date?"

Miranda glared at her friend with exasperation. "Yes. For the last time it is a real date."

Gordo then chose that moment to walk up to the two. "What's up?"

Lizzie looked to Gordo for vindication. "Miranda has a date."

Gordo glanced back and forth between the two of them. He then put his arm around Lizzie and looked at Miranda with a hint of trepidation in his eyes.

"Not with her, moron.", she spat at him.

Gordo smiled uncomfortably. "Oh. Sorry. Short man equals low self-esteem."

Miranda huffed. "And as for you, Ms. McGuire. You know he cleans up well."

Flashback-Larry Tudgeman in a leather jacket, rockin' shades and highlights in his hair.

"And he just made the gymnastics team."

Flashback-Larry Tudgeman in the highschool's gym clothes turning the same standing double back flip Melina demonstrated for Matt.

Gordo looked back at the flashbacks. "Wait, you have a date with Tudgeman?"

"Oh, not you too.", Miranda scolded.

Gordo held his hand out protectively. "Oh no, not me. I hope you have lots of fun on your date."

Miranda nodded to him then stared at Lizzie. "Thank you."

"And if you end up marrying him, at least it'll be really easy to do his laundry.", Gordo finished.

"Watch it, chico!", Miranda hissed at him.

"Oh, that reminds me.", Gordo stated. He then pulled his camcorder out of his backpack. "I'm all charged up and ready to document your first patrol."

Miranda rolled her eyes, still heated from the earlier teasing. "The whole superhero thing?"

Lizzie then became alarmingly serious.

Cartoon Mode-"Note serious face.", she said while pointing to herself.

"Look. I had, like, a dream last night. And you and Gordo and I were all walking along at night. And it felt really real. Like we were supposed to be walking that particular street at that particular moment. I want you to come with us. It really means a lot to me."

Miranda still huffed with crossed arms and raised eyebrow. But looking at her friends, one shining with enthusiasm itching to record anything at all with his camcorder and the other seemingly so distressed she couldn't hold out. "Alright, I'll come with you. All for one, like usual."


End file.
